Lines for "chay’ qay’ yIHmey?"(After five months patrolling the region around Sherman's Planet, the crew of the Cold Revenge needs shore leave. I have decided to dock at Space Station K-7 for a few days. Unfortunately, the starship Enterprise is already docked at K-7. The Enterprise's commander, Captain Kirk, is well known for his trickery. This will require careful tactics.) a, qIrq HoD quv. (Ah, my dear Captain Kirk.) (My dear Captain Koloth.) (Let me assure you that my intentions are peaceful. As I've already told Mr. Lurie, the purpose of my presence here is to invoke shore leave rights.) (Shore leave?) (Captain, we Klingons are not as luxury-minded as you Earthers. We do not equip our ships with – how shall I say it? – non-essentials.) (We have been in space for 5 months. What we choose as recreation is our own business.) (I might also add that, under the terms of the Organian Peace Treaty, you cannot refuse us.) (Yes, well, I – don't make those decisions. Mr. Lurie is in charge of those mattters.) (Captain, may I speak to you a moment?) (What are they saying?) (Be quiet! I can’t eavesdrop.) (not subtitled: Kirk, I don’t want them here, but I don’t have the authority to prevent it.) (While I have the authority to act, I’m going to use it.) qo’loth HoD quv, naDev leSlaHbej beqpu'lI', 'ach wa'maH cha' beqpu' neH ngaSnIS Hoch leSbogh ghom. wa''e' vIlay' je: naDev wa' beqlI' ngeHlu'DI', wa' Hung 'avwI' vIngeHbej. qaSbe'bej Seng. ( My dear Captain Koloth, you may indeed bring your men down on shore leave, but only 12 at a time. And I assure you that, for every man you bring down here, I shall have one security guard. There'll be no trouble.) (Captain Kirk, there's been no formal declaration of hostilities between our two respective governments. So, naturally, our relationship will be a peaceful one.) (Let us both take steps to keep it that way.) (Of course.) (I think the bar is down this corridor.) (Worf, wait for me!) (Did you see the forehead on that guy? Hideous!) (What species is he?) (What the @#$% is going on?) (We are Klingons!) (A minor skirmish has broken out on the Station between my crew and the Enterprise’s, so Kirk has cancelled shore leave.) toH, tachDaq tera'nganpu' boSuv'a'? Suv 'e' tagh 'Iv? (Fighting in the bar with Earthers! Who started the fight?) (I did! I did!) (Enough! Dismissed.) maltlh, yIratlh SoH. (Maltz, you stay.) (Captain?) (Who started the fight?) (Korax.) (Korax? Really?) (Really. He called the Enterprise a garbage scow.) (Excellent! Break out the best bloodwine.) (Did you see the tribbles all over the station?) (Yes. Disgusting little furballs.) (I hear they're all over the Enterprise, too.) (How do they get into everything? It's almost like they can disappear before your eyes.) (Captain, something has been beamed off the station and is now off our starboard side.) (So Kirk is trying to destroy my ship? I’ve had it! He insults my crew, restricts our access to the station, and now -! Where is Kirk? Maybe the Organians would like to know how Kirk is violating the treaty.) (He is near the station's cargo bays. He appears to be surrounded by a pile of dead tribbles.) (A pile?) (To be precise, one million, seven hundred, seventy-one thousand, five hundred, sixty-one, if one tribble produces 10 tribbles every 12 hours –) (Oh, who cares? I'm going over to the station to demand an apology from Captain Kirk.) (Great. I had no idea that the High Command had placed a saboteur in the Federation Agriculture Department.) (An incompetent saboteur. All he had to do was poison some grain, and he couldn’t do it.The Federation will probably get Sherman’s Planet.) (That spy won't be welcome back on Kronos now. And once again, Kirk appears the hero.) (Only because the tribbles ate the poisoned grain and died.) (Tribbles truly are useless things. That $%^&* Kirk has ordered us to leave Federation space within six hours. Fine. We can't enjoy shore leave anyway, with all these tribbles around.) loSpev'e', tIrvetlh 'ogh tlhIngan 'e' DaSov'a'? (By the way, did you know that Klingons invented quadrotriticale?) pIvghor chu’rup! (Prepare for warp.) (Captain, before we went to warp, the Enterprise beamed a bunch of tribbles into the engine room. I think this is gonna be trouble…) (When Captain Kirk beamed the tribbles onto our ship, did he realize what a prize he was giving us?) (I doubt it. No one knew that tribbles can completely disappear.) (But that does explain how they can get into everything.) (Once I discovered how the tribbles disappeared, I was able to invent a device, using wehich, I was able to make our ship disappear, too. We can hide in empty space.) (Excellent. You are a true hero of the Empire. With our new device, we will soon conquer the whole galaxy.) (But we'd better kill off all the tribbles before the Earthers discover their secret.) ("The Great Tribble Hunt" – sounds good.) |
© 2005, Terrence Donnelly